An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived and bet £20,000 on a single roll of
the dice. She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when
I'm completely naked'.
With that, she stripped, rolled the dice and yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama
needs new clothes!'
As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES!
I WON, I WON!'
She hugged each of the dealers, picked up her winnings and clothes and
quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'
The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'
MORAL OF THE STORY-
Not all Irish are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
My Updates
THE IRISH BLONDE IN THE CASINO
Why do we hate lawyers ?, 3 guesses and 1st 2 don't count
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has cheated him out of ten million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf.
That
was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that a
deaf bookkeeper would not hear anything that he might have to testify
about in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront the
bookkeeper about his missing $10 million, he brings along his attorney,
who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer "Ask him
where the ten million bucks he embezzled from me is." The attorney,
using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the money is.
The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The
attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're
talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to the
bookkeeper's temple and says "Ask him again!"
The attorney signs
to the bookkeeper: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him!" The
bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase,
buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens !"
The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"
The attorney replies:
"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
Best 'Out of Office' Automatic Email Replies:
1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will
reply to you if I fail to get the position.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out
of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have
received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my
brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management
team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I
return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be
deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged
$5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word
in your message.
6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection.
Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer
and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over...)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing
system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to
receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait
by your PC for my response.
9. I've run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for
medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille'
instead of Mike.










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