Monday

5/19/08

 Let's start the day off with a little tip... Americas spend 57 minutes a week having "Relations" which is 14 minutes less than the global Average... Yeah we've got some work to do... Jesse did the math and if his calculations are right that's 19 times a week...

 Would you rather be Feared or Loved? Jesse was over at a friends house this past weekend and some beers were drank, some people were "toasty," and it got them talking, would you rather be feared or loved? I personally would want to be feared than loved because when you're loved everyone would start to annoy me, being feared everyone would leave me alone...

 Suicide by a wood chipper? Yeah a guy thought, what a better way to kill yourself then a wood chipper... Nope not a gun, no don't hang your self, no not drowning, wood chipper! He dove in ARM first, and lived!! Dumb Ass!!!

 ~*~DOUCHE BAG OF THEE DAY~*~  This one goes straight to Jorge Espinal of Forth Worth Texas, hanging out with the guys, drinking, and playing some poker when he got a scratch right in the middle of his back, Jorge couldn't reach the spot, got up and went in the other room to find something to help. The first thing that caught his eye was a loaded gun. Jorge grabbed the gun and used it to scratch his back... before accidentally pulling the trigger and shooting himself. Jorge's friends took him to the ER were he was treated and then released... DUMB DOUCHE BAG!!!!!

 Kage + Rage = A lot of angry people... let it out, vent, scream, yell, whatever you have to do to feel better... We are giving away Jagermeister Music tour with Hatebreed tickets... May 22, 7pm at the state theatre...

 If you call a radio station to talk sh*t about someone, don't make yourself look stupid... this guy calls up saying "the funniest thing just happened" he went to K-mart to buy his kids food, the total came to $5.00 he gave her $6.00 and she gave him back $4.00. He wanted to know, "how smart do you have to be to be a cash-register-person?!?!?" Um I think you answered your own question...

 Mandatory Metallica= If you have a song that you haven't heard lately or you've been singing all day, you can either, call; e-mail Jesse, or text... Message the song to 68255

 Much love Tampa,

Vagine'

Friday

5/16/08

 Name Jesse's Wang- Since him and his wife have been having problems with having a baby. She's gone to the doctors and her test came back all good so it might be Jesse, he thinks it might be because he has never had a name for his Wang...There is a web site you can actually go to and pay to have your "Wang" named, they even send you your own certificate!! So we turn it to you FREAKS... We set up a chart with the names then Jesse took a cup of DNA and through it at the chart and which ever name has more DNA on it will win... Sounds like fun...

 Mini me won... that's Jesse's Wangs name

 *Jesse gets an E-mail from this lady who says that him not being able to have babies is because he uses the word "GD" all the time... and he should try not to... Um yeah that's exactly right, Ding, Ding, ding we have a winner...*

 Kage Rage= Jagermeister Music Tour... we have a pair of Hatebreed tickets for their show May 22, at the State Theatre... Best Rage Wins FREAKS!!!! Scott our winner today just went to court with his girl friend because of her hitting there 5 month year old baby, wins custody then finds out that the DNA test shows that he's not the dad and they took her from him... WOW!!!! Sorry man, keep your head up...

New Bands= send Jesse some of your music and see about getting you in the studio... Jessekage@98rock.com  

Just to clear this up... Mandatory Metallica isn't going anywhere anytime soon... for every hate call we have 3 more that love it...  if you have a song that you want to hear email Jesse or call us with what you want... Check out www.missionmetallic.com for updates...

 Jesse reads his letter to his liver before things get ugly between them, but one of the FREAKS isn't really a drinker and will lend out his liver to Jesse... Now that's a friend!!!

 Be safe and have a good weekend!!!

Vagine'

Wednesday

5/14/08

 The latest trouble affecting our troops in Iraq...Bootleg porno DVDs that are infected with viruses...Everyone's heard the troubles our troops are having but this problem is one they have kept quiet till now... According to a former Army Reserve Captain named Michael Noonan, one of the nastiest problems facing our troops in Iraq is bootleg porno DVDs are infected with viruses. They get their DVDs back to the barracks; their computers get infected with a, quote, "porno virus" which destroys their HARD drive. Captain Noonan says a lot of soldiers love pornography, and uses it as a distraction to pass the time. The problem is, is that the share the DVDs with one another and spread the porno virus around the entire units. Kinda like STDs... Jesse wanted to see if he could send some to the troops but they're not allowed to have it at all... F-up!!!

 Viagra, everyone knows about it, but has anyone taken it for **** and giggles? Jesse hasn't and doesn't see the point; I have and thought that it just brings you to that "Level faster." What about you FREAKS????

 +KAGE RAGE+

$50.00 to Tijuana Flats... With gas being F*cking Stupid, now you don't have to worry about dinner tonight... Best Kage Rage wins.... John our winner today can't stand it when people stop when they turn. They aren't going to miss the turn, just turn... the way he told us was funny... and its true I hate that more than anything...

 Mandatory Metallica-Request E-mail Jesse Kage with what you'd like or call or Text what ever floats your boat and gets your song on... Oh and make sure you check out the web site they set up for there fans, its www.missionmetallica.com it will keep you updated on EVERYTHING!!!

 There's a "Point Break" sequel in the works: the 1991 cinematic classic with Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze andGary Busey when they rob the banks with the mask on, it takes place 20 years after Swayze's character disappeared in the ocean... It would totally Rock if they could get the original cast back... Swayze needs to beat his pancreatic cancer first...

 Play of the game- If you know the Rays play of the game when Jesse asks for it, call up with the play of the game and win a $25.00 gift card and a chance to go to Boston or NY to see them play....

 Just say F*ck it!!!!

Vagine'

Monday

5/12/08

 Wow what a show!!!!! If you missed 98Rockfest, you missed a bad ass show!!!! You the Fans and the bands... Go our winner of the fan came did a great job of keeping his head up while in the potty....

 Hung over? Yes!

So Hugh Hefner doesn't understand what the fuss is over the pictures of Miley Cyrus... he says, quote, "I think to make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos..." "I think [that's] a reflection on how schizophrenic America is about sexuality." Hugh added that he'd be cool with Miley posing for "Playboy" when she's 18. He said, quote, "Sure, she'd be welcome in the magazine. Very pretty LADY." Um no she is 15 she's not a lady, that's a little girl... POPS 

 Kage Rage today... You had to work hung over, your boss is being an ass, or your just pissed, KAGE RAGE!!!!! $50.00 to Tijuana Flats.. That's a date... Frank is Raging about everyone who didn't come out to 98rockfest...

The animals are attacking- Diving pelican skewers Ohio woman's face while she was here in Treasure Island ... a pelican had just flown into her, its beak piercing her cheek... Plastic surgeon gave her 26 stitches inside and outside her mouth. Sharks are at war East coast West coast, who can eat more, alligators in trailer parks... And don't forget to do the magic shuffle in the water because of the Stingray...

 Mandatory Metallica= If you have a request e-mail Jesse Kage, call us or you can text us with what you want... 68255

Oh P.S.  missionmetallica.com will keep you updated with everything new they do... check it out you FREAKS!!!!

And just if you were wondering, why this is short, because yesterday was so long so there....

 Have a good night and sleep tight... Or not...

Vagine'